April 2019

The Nation Reviewed

An AFL 2019 census

By Hugh Robertson
A droll-call of the season’s best and brightest

Names worthy of a four-week suspension from the tribunal

Nikki Gore, Jack Payne, Shane Savage, Gabriella Pound, James Harmes, Darcy Fort, Josh Battle

 

Names suitable for 2019’s next trendy wine varietal (“Could we have a bottle of the ...”)

Rosenzweig, Himmelberg, Bastinac, Scharenberg, Schlensog, Coniglio, Petracca, Gourlay, Clavarino, Varnhagen, Brazzale, Abbatangelo

 

Minor characters from the Robert Mueller investigation

Boyd Woodcock, Ruby Blair, Reni Hicks, Patrick Lipinski, Parris Laurie, Shae Sloane, Sydney Stack, Jordon Butts, Jamie Cripps, Max King

 

Winner of the inaugural Award for Merit

Zach Merrett

 

Snow White’s Seven Dwarves, 2019

Breann Moody, Lloyd Meek, Mark Keane, Adam Saad, Harrison Petty, Jackson Hately and Sam Docherty; and the best and fairest of them all, Brandon White

 

Contestants for the next season of ‘The Bachelor’ or ‘The Bachelorette’

Jayde Van Dyk, Riley Bonner, Jackson Thurlow, Gryan Miers, Kaiden Brand, Braydon Preuss, Kai Pudney, Kobe Mutch, Noah Gown, Trent Mynott, Krystal Scott, Mia-Rae Clifford

 

Names suitable for a fashion label on the Brownlow red carpet (“I’m wearing …”)

De Koning, Fiorini, Gallucci, Silvagni, Switkowski, Nankivell, Bonnici, Brancatisano

 

The AFL’s own Űbermensch

Aaron Nietschke

 

Members of 1980s glam-rock bands, reunited and playing a winery near you

Billy Frampton, Darcy Fogarty, Rory Sloane, Maverick Weller, Dougal Howard, Logan Austin, Jackson Nelson, Stevie-Lee Thompson, Sam Virgo, Georgia Gee

 

Prompts for packing a picnic

Jarrod Berry, Jack Crisp, Zak Butters, Brayden Ham, Devon Smith, Bayley Fritsch (only in South Australia), Flynn Appleby, Bailey Rice, Darcy Tucker, Lachie Plowman

 

The annual Jarrad census

Jarrad (1, down 1), Jarryd (2, down 1), Jarrod (8, up 1), Jared (1, no change), Jarryn (1, no change), Darragh (1, no change)

 

Names over-represented according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics

Jack (30; playing for St Kilda: 7), Sam (30), Tom (37), Josh (18), Rory (5), Callum (7), Courtney (5), Tayla (3)

 

Commentator’s nightmare, aka Seeing double

Sam Reid (Sydney Swans, GWS), Josh Kennedy (Sydney Swans, West Coast Eagles), Bailey Williams (Western Bulldogs, West Coast Eagles), Callum Brown (GWS, Collingwood), Tom Lynch (Adelaide, Richmond), Jack and Jackson Trengove (Port Adelaide and Western Bulldogs)

 

Former Brexit cheerleaders who are now nowhere to be found

Derek Eggmolesse-Smith, Ned McHenry, Charlie Constable, Tori Groves-Little, Sarah D’Arcy, Darcy Parish, George Horlin-Smith, Darcy Byrne-Jones, Riley Collier-Dawkins, McKenzie Dowrick, Julia Crockett-Grills, Tanya Hetherington, Laitham Vandermeer

 

The Orazio Fantasia Perpetual Trophy for Best New Name

Irving Mosquito (runner-up: Mikala Cann)

Hugh Robertson

Hugh Robertson manages a record label, writes a lot and thinks about the Sydney Swans too much.

Cover April 2019

April 2019

From the front page

Media unites

Legislation is needed urgently to protect the public’s right to know

Illustration by Jeff Fisher

Vanishing voices

The cultural damage of homogenising language

Illustration

At home in the Antarctic

The screenwriters living with the crew of Mawson station

Image of the University of Sydney

Flat-earthers

The Australian’s crusade on free speech in universities


In This Issue

Illustration

The sentencing of George Pell

It took a judge to explain power to a cardinal

‘Who Killed My Father’ by Édouard Louis (trans. Lorin Stein)

Political rage fuels the French author’s account of a fraught father–son relationship

Illustration

The Murray–Darling’s dry mouth

Scientists are witnessing the ecological collapse of South Australia’s Coorong

Haruki to Highsmith: Lee Chang-dong’s ‘Burning’

Mr Ripley echoes through a masterful tale of class tensions in Seoul


More in The Nation Reviewed

Illustration

Aged care in crisis

Stories of neglect and abuse from the royal commission

Illustration

At home in the Antarctic

The screenwriters living with the crew of Mawson station

Illustration

The cases against Colin Manock

Calls mount for a royal commission into SA’s former forensic pathologist

Illustration

Ticked off

Being bitten by a tick just got a whole lot stranger


Read on

Image of the University of Sydney

Flat-earthers

The Australian’s crusade on free speech in universities

Image of Quarterly Essay 74, ‘The Prosperity Gospel’, by Erik Jensen

Everymen don’t exist

On the campaign trail with Scott Morrison and Bill Shorten – a Quarterly Essay extract

Image from ‘Fleabag’

Falling for ‘Fleabag’

On the problematic hotness of Andrew Scott’s Hot Priest

Image of Costume at Dark Mofo

Dark Mofo 2019: Costume

The Tasmanian electro-orchestral pop artist makes a beguiling debut in Hobart


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