March 2018

The Nation Reviewed

Aussie Rules 2018 in names only

By Hugh Robertson
Aussie Rules 2018 in names only
A fundamental analysis of this year’s player lists

“Oh, the Hipwood’s connected to the Sidebottom …”
Eric Hipwood, Steele Sidebottom, Jordan Foote, Jarryd Roughead, Tim Broomhead, Melissa Freckleton, Courtney Gum, Dayna Cox, Aiden Bonar

As seen on ‘Better Homes & Gardens’
Timm House, Daniel Wells, Claye Beams, Mitchell Hinge, Ben Keays, Tom Bellchambers, Majak Daw, Jack Redpath, James Rose, Ryan Nyhuis, Abbey Holmes

Charismatic antihero of a historical crime series coming to a Sunday night timeslot near you
Curtly Hampton, Flynn Appleby, Doulton Langlands, Lloyd Meek, Cora Staunton, Charlie Spargo, Dyson Heppell, Darcy Guttridge

You’ve heard of Wynstan with a Y, now get ready for …
Taylin, Jasmyn, Kyron, Aidyn, Kaitlyn and Caitlyn

Centimetre perfect
Jayden Short (178 cm), Shane Biggs (187 cm), Ben Long (182 cm), Billy Longer (202 cm)

Names suitable for the next hipster food craze
(“You must try the …”)

Kirsty Lamb, Kayle Kirby, Sean Lemmens, Tait Mackrill, Matthew Ling, Bailey Rice, Deanna Berry, Sam Powell-Pepper, Devon Smith, Matthew Leuenberger

Nominees for the Aliir Aliir Alliteration Award
Heath Hocking, Jamaine Jones, Sam Switkowski, Georgia Gee, Bailey Banfield, Brittany Bonnici, Sam Skinner, Tim Taranto, Ashlee Atkins, Will Walker, Shane Savage, Alexandra Anderson

The annual Jarrad census
Jarrad (2, down 2), Jarryd (3), Jarrod (7, up 2), Jared (1), Jarryn (1), Darragh (1)

When nominative determinism goes wrong
Josh Caddy, Darcy Gardiner, Paul Hunter, Zac Fisher, Dan Butler, Oskar Baker, Angus Schumacher, Callum Porter, Ryan Abbott, Emma King, Charlie Constable, Lachie Plowman, Joel Selwood, Rhiannon Metcalfe

Names suitable for a 2018 reboot of ‘Dawson’s Creek’or ‘Gossip Girl’
Brady Grey, Calista Boyd, Bailey Hunt, Hayley Wildes, Luke Lavender, Hunter Clark, Liam Dawson, Jesse Joyce, Ruby Blair, Gryan Miers

“What fresh calumny is this?”
Callum Mills, Callum Moore, Callum Brown, Callum Sinclair, Callum Porter, Callum Coleman-Jones, Callum Ah Chee

Never trust someone with two first names
Dustin Martin, Bernie Vince, Josh Bruce, Alicia Eva, Jack Steven, Stefan Martin, Tara Morgan, Sophie Casey, Sebastian Ross, Richard Douglas, Jamie Elliott, Jess Allan, Charlie Cameron, Emma Grant, Dale Thomas, James Stewart, Luke Ryan, Krystal Scott

And run, don’t walk, from …
Tilly Lucas-Rodd

Carrying a bit of baggage
Hugh McCluggage

The Orazio Fantasia Perpetual Trophy for Best New Name (joint winners)
Brandon Zerk-Thatcher and Bonnie Toogood

Hugh Robertson

Hugh Robertson manages a record label, writes a lot and thinks about the Sydney Swans too much.

From the front page

Image of Heraclitus of Ephesus, known as the “Weeping Philosopher”.

Forecasting the future

What is humanity’s destiny in the Anthropocene era?

Frank Moorhouse, Ewenton Street, Balmain, circa 1975

Frank recollections

Remembering Frank Moorhouse (1938–2022)

Illustration by Jeff Fisher

What the James Webb Space Telescope reveals

Why NASA’s new telescope is a huge step forward for understanding the universe

Demonstrating for reproductive rights at Hyde Park, Sydney, June 9, 2019

The fight to choose

As Roe v Wade is overturned in the United States, what are the threats to accessing abortion in Australia?

In This Issue

Image of senators in 2013

How politics works in Australia, and how to fix it

An insider’s guide to government

Image of Nick Kyrgios

Nick Kyrgios: talent to burn

Five short pieces about one of tennis’s most misunderstood players

Image of Robert Manne

On borrowed time

Reflections on a life lived in the shadow of mortality

Installation view of Mass by Ron Mueck, 2016–17

The NGV Triennial

A new exhibition series’ first instalment delivers a heady mix of populism and politics


More in The Nation Reviewed

Illustration by Jeff Fisher

What the James Webb Space Telescope reveals

Why NASA’s new telescope is a huge step forward for understanding the universe

Line call on Spring Creek

Development hits a roadblock in the regional town of Torquay

Illustration by Jeff Fisher

Food (in)security

Australia’s supply-chain network is at more risk than ever before

Illustration by Jeff Fisher

What the oil and gas industry tells itself

A week after the devastating floods, the fossil-fuel industry described the scarcity of new projects today as “frightening”


Online exclusives

Image of Heraclitus of Ephesus, known as the “Weeping Philosopher”.

Forecasting the future

What is humanity’s destiny in the Anthropocene era?

Image of Moonage Daydream director Brett Morgen. Photograph © Olivier Vigerie / Neon

Daydream believer: Director Brett Morgen

Morgen’s freeform documentary about David Bowie, ‘Moonage Daydream’, explores the philosophy and creativity of one of popular music’s icons

Image of Chris Kenny appearing in Your ABC Exposed. Image via YouTube

Indecent exposure

Sky News’s ‘Your ABC Exposed’ reveals more about Chris Kenny and co than it does about the national broadcaster

Image of Loren O’Keeffe, the founder of Missing Persons Advocacy Network. Image © Paul Jeffers

The complicated grief when a family member goes missing

As National Missing Persons Week begins, the founder of an advocacy network for families reflects on the ambiguous loss experienced by those left behind