June 2014

The Nation Reviewed

Names of the game

By Peter Cronin
A singular analysis of AFL players’ names

AFL FOOTBALLERS’ NAMES IN 2014 SUITABLE FOR A ROMANTIC WEEKEND GETAWAY DESTINATION

Beau Waters, Blake Acres, Jared Rivers, Oliver Wines, Michael Close, Brian Lake

NAMES SUITABLE FOR THE LOCATION OF SOME MISCHIEF, A MUGGING OR EVEN A MURDER

Harrison Marsh, Campbell Heath, Easton Wood, Bradley Hill, Dean Towers

NAMES RIPE FOR SPOONERISM

Jed Bews, Dane Rampe, Matt Shaw, Nat Fyfe, Karmichael Hunt

NAMES THAT SOUND REMARKABLY LIKE A BRAND 

Seb Tape, Jed Lamb, Claye Beams, Will Hams, Tayte Pears, Daniel Currie, Chris Dawes

SURNAMES SUITABLE FOR A COCKTAIL INCORPORATING CAMPARI OR AMARETTO

Cassisi, Firrito, Morabito, Deledio, Bontempelli, Menegola

SURNAMES SUITABLE FOR A MIDDLE-EUROPEAN SMOKED SAUSAGE

Schoenmakers, Schroder, Leuenberger, Petrenko, Malceski, Karnezis

NAMES SUITABLE FOR A RASCALLY, MISUNDERSTOOD CRIMINAL WITH A HEART OF GOLD OR A LOVEABLE ORPHAN WHO RISES ABOVE HIS STATION BY INHERITING A SUBSTANTIAL FORTUNE

Sam Siggins, Joshua Prudden, Tomas Bugg, Sam Grimley, Jack Grimes, Jasper Pittard, Sam Darley, Will Minson, Jack Crisp, Jake Stringer, Sam Kerridge

NAMES SUITABLE FOR AN AGEING PEER OF THE REALM OR THE INCUMBENT OF A CRUMBLING ESTATE

George Horlin-Smith, Angus Monfries, Will Hoskin-Elliott, Tyrone Vickery, James Gwilt, Lewis Roberts-Thomson, Pearce Hanley

NAMES THAT FORM A COMPLETE SENTENCE WHEN EXPRESSED AS A COMMAND

Brad Crouch, Andrew Swallow, Jarrad Waite, Billy Longer

THE ANNUAL JARRAD LIST

Jaryd (1), Jarrad (5), Jared (3), Jarryd (3), Jarrod (2), Jarred (1) and their cousins Sharrod and Jarryn

MOST COMPELLINGLY NAMED DRAFT PICK YET TO PLAY A SENIOR GAME

Orazio Fantasia

NAMES SUITABLE FOR A HOME AND AWAY CHARACTER

Corey Enright, Brodie Martin, Jake Barrett, Kane Mitchell, Jamie Bennell, Robbie Tarrant, Zach Merrett

NAMES THAT SHOULD BE SUITABLE FOR A HOME AND AWAY CHARACTER

Majak Daw, Nic Naitanui, Bachar Houli, Shem Tatupu, Heritier Lumumba

A NAME THAT PROMPTS ONE TO LIE AWAKE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, PONDERING: “WHY? WHY? WHY DO I LIKE THIS NAME?”

Farren Ray

Peter Cronin

Peter Cronin is a Monthly contributor.

June 2014

From the front page

Hartzer must go

Westpac stands universally condemned and the CEO has to take responsibility

Image of Steve Kilbey

The Church frontman Steve Kilbey

The prolific singer-songwriter reflects on four decades and counting in music

Illustration

Bait and switch

Lumping dingoes in with “wild dogs” means the native animals are being deliberately culled

Cover of ‘The Testaments’

‘The Testaments’ by Margaret Atwood

The Booker Prize–winning sequel to ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ is an exhilarating thriller from the “wiliest writer alive”


In This Issue

Clive Palmer the trickster

The Palmer United Party are anti-politics wildcards in Parliament

Richard Strauss in 1904. Photo by Edward Steichen

A century and a half of Richard Strauss

A look back at the last of the great Romantic composers

Nuclear waste at Muckaty

A trip to the site of a proposed nuclear waste dump on Aboriginal land in the Northern Territory

Follow You (detail), 2013, Wang Qingsong. Courtesy of White Rabbit Gallery.

‘Reformation’ at Sydney’s White Rabbit Gallery

Judith Neilson’s groundbreaking collection of contemporary Chinese art


More in The Nation Reviewed

Illustration

The strip-search state

Successful compensation cases haven’t curbed the prevalence of unlawful strip-searches by NSW Police

Illustration

Bait and switch

Lumping dingoes in with “wild dogs” means the native animals are being deliberately culled

Yellow submarine

A former Russian athlete’s plan for Australia’s first commercial sub

Illustration

A traditional landscape

The UAE hosts a rare public exhibition for the colossal native title painting ‘Ngurrara Canvas II’


Read on

Image of Steve Kilbey

The Church frontman Steve Kilbey

The prolific singer-songwriter reflects on four decades and counting in music

Image from ‘The Report’

Interrogating the interrogators: ‘The Report’

This tale of the investigation into CIA torture during the War on Terror places too much faith in government procedure

Image of police station in Alice Springs with red handprints on wall

What really happened at Yuendumu?

The promised inquiries must answer the biggest questions raised by the police shooting of an Aboriginal man

You could drive a person crazy: Noah Baumbach’s ‘Marriage Story’

Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson are at their career best in this bittersweet tale of divorce


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