The Nation Reviewed
Names of the game
AFL FOOTBALLERS’ NAMES IN 2014 SUITABLE FOR A ROMANTIC WEEKEND GETAWAY DESTINATION
Beau Waters, Blake Acres, Jared Rivers, Oliver Wines, Michael Close, Brian Lake
NAMES SUITABLE FOR THE LOCATION OF SOME MISCHIEF, A MUGGING OR EVEN A MURDER
Harrison Marsh, Campbell Heath, Easton Wood, Bradley Hill, Dean Towers
NAMES RIPE FOR SPOONERISM
Jed Bews, Dane Rampe, Matt Shaw, Nat Fyfe, Karmichael Hunt
NAMES THAT SOUND REMARKABLY LIKE A BRAND
Seb Tape, Jed Lamb, Claye Beams, Will Hams, Tayte Pears, Daniel Currie, Chris Dawes
SURNAMES SUITABLE FOR A COCKTAIL INCORPORATING CAMPARI OR AMARETTO
Cassisi, Firrito, Morabito, Deledio, Bontempelli, Menegola
SURNAMES SUITABLE FOR A MIDDLE-EUROPEAN SMOKED SAUSAGE
Schoenmakers, Schroder, Leuenberger, Petrenko, Malceski, Karnezis
NAMES SUITABLE FOR A RASCALLY, MISUNDERSTOOD CRIMINAL WITH A HEART OF GOLD OR A LOVEABLE ORPHAN WHO RISES ABOVE HIS STATION BY INHERITING A SUBSTANTIAL FORTUNE
Sam Siggins, Joshua Prudden, Tomas Bugg, Sam Grimley, Jack Grimes, Jasper Pittard, Sam Darley, Will Minson, Jack Crisp, Jake Stringer, Sam Kerridge
NAMES SUITABLE FOR AN AGEING PEER OF THE REALM OR THE INCUMBENT OF A CRUMBLING ESTATE
George Horlin-Smith, Angus Monfries, Will Hoskin-Elliott, Tyrone Vickery, James Gwilt, Lewis Roberts-Thomson, Pearce Hanley
NAMES THAT FORM A COMPLETE SENTENCE WHEN EXPRESSED AS A COMMAND
Brad Crouch, Andrew Swallow, Jarrad Waite, Billy Longer
THE ANNUAL JARRAD LIST
Jaryd (1), Jarrad (5), Jared (3), Jarryd (3), Jarrod (2), Jarred (1) and their cousins Sharrod and Jarryn
MOST COMPELLINGLY NAMED DRAFT PICK YET TO PLAY A SENIOR GAME
NAMES SUITABLE FOR A HOME AND AWAY CHARACTER
Corey Enright, Brodie Martin, Jake Barrett, Kane Mitchell, Jamie Bennell, Robbie Tarrant, Zach Merrett
NAMES THAT SHOULD BE SUITABLE FOR A HOME AND AWAY CHARACTER
Majak Daw, Nic Naitanui, Bachar Houli, Shem Tatupu, Heritier Lumumba
A NAME THAT PROMPTS ONE TO LIE AWAKE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, PONDERING: “WHY? WHY? WHY DO I LIKE THIS NAME?”
Peter Cronin is a Monthly contributor.
Schoenmakers, Schroder, Leuenberger, Petrenko, Malceski, Karnezis...
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