December 18, 2012

Monthly Wire

Top Political Satire of 2012

By Monthly Wire

An editor’s selection of ten amusing political items from 2012 by PoliticOz.

 

The Press Assesses the Gettysburg Address: “SEAN: No one says the man isn't a shrewd orator, Wolf. But what did he hope to accomplish by dragging the press corps all the way down to a remote whistlestop in Pennsylvania just to listen to a few paragraphs on the subject of dead veterans? RACHEL: You know what I think? He was trying to bring closure to a troublesome campaign issue. WOLF: Which one? RACHEL: The Civil War. It's not exactly proving popular in the polls.” 

– Huffington Post

 

An apology from Todd Akin "Over the weekend, I made remarks suggesting that rape could be legitimate and that a uterus could think. Today, I would like to offer every woman in Missouri my deepest apology. If your uterus could talk, I’ll bet it would have some choice words about old Todd right about now." (Borowitz Report)

- New Yorker

 

The Real Romney: “Mitt Romney was born on March 12, 1947, in Ohio, Florida, Michigan, Virginia and several other swing states. He emerged, hair first, believing in America, and especially its national parks … Romney was a precocious and gifted child. He uttered his first words (“I like to fire people”) at age 14 months, made his first gaffe at 15 months and purchased his first nursery school at 24 months. The school, highly leveraged, went under, but Romney made 24 million Jujubes on the deal.”

– New York Times

 

Kim Jong-Un Named Sexiest Man Alive 2012 "With his devastatingly handsome, round face, his boyish charm, and his strong, sturdy frame, this Pyongyang-bred heartthrob is every woman’s dream come true."

-The Onion

 

Julia’s Big Fat Greek Reno: “Julia Gillard might be suffering a spot of bother with the polls, restive Labor factions and Tony Abbott's endless attack on the carbon tax, but nothing, surely, could compare with her travails involving Con the window man, Taugney the Swedish builder and Bill the Greek Bullshit Artist. The Lodge, you may be aware, is to get a big do-over starting in December. Ms Gillard must be dreading it, for she has already gone through the pain of the home reno, and it proved to be a sorry saga.”

– Sydney Morning Herald

 

Racing in the Chamber: “If politics was sport it might sound like this.”

– The Drum

 

How To Act: James Lipton’s Advice for Mitt Romney: “In this media-saturated era, the line between politics and performance has virtually vanished, and the public is having a hard time believing Mr. Romney’s persona (as in dramatis personae) — a potentially fatal flaw for any actor, but especially for a presidential candidate. Why doesn’t Mr. Romney’s audience believe him?”

– New York Magazine

 

Republicans consider welcoming people who believe in math and science "After disappointing results in Tuesday's election, Mr. Priebus said that it was time for Republicans to become 'more tolerant of those with a math-and-science lifestyle.'" (Borowitz Report) 

– New Yorker

 

The Many Hairstyles of Mitt Romney (image gallery): “Not a hair out of place, white fading gracefully to grey and then seamlessly into a youthful jet black; the symmetrical widow's peak offset by the razor-sharp side part; tight corona fanning out gently sideways. This right here is what all the fuss is about.”

- New York Magazine


Attracting the Public’s Attention
Dave Smate (video)

– Clarke & Dawe

 

Chris Rock's Message For White Voters (video)

- Huffington Post

 

Bad Lip Reading of First Presidential Debate (video)

– Mashable

 

AND:

 

Best Australian Politicial Cartoons 2012 (image gallery)

– The Monthly/PoliticOz

 

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