The 30 most Onion-like headlines of the Abbott government’s first year
Letting their gaffe flag fly

Say what you will about the Abbott government, but for only one year in office it sure created a lot of Onion-like headlines.

Cigars, bookcases, winks – there was no shortage of news moments that felt like they’d come straight out of the American satirical newspaper, The Onion. After all that discipline they showed in Opposition, the Coalition appeared keen to let their gaffe flag fly once again.

And speaking of letting your gaffe flag fly, I would be remiss not to mention the new senators. Compiling this list would have been much harder without those Chinese invasion-fearing PUPs and Mike Willesee-fearing Motoring Enthusiasts.

I express my gratitude to them (as do my colleagues at ABC2’s daily news satire show The Roast). Now, here are the top 30 most Onion-like headlines of the Abbott government’s first year:

Upside down MP: Andrew Laming photographed skolling beer while doing handstand at Australia Day party

Treasurer Joe Hockey and Finance Minister Mathias Cormann pictured smoking cigars ahead of tough budget

Treasurer Joe Hockey caught dancing to Best Day of My Life before delivering Federal Budget

Taxpayers fork out $3000 a week for a mansion Tony Abbott doesn't want

Second George Brandis bookcase costs $15,000 after first was too big to move

$800 spent on doorknob in unused government room

Tony Abbott schedules last-minute visit to cancer centre 'to justify billing taxpayers' for fundraising trip to Melbourne

Senator Bill Heffernan smuggles fake 'pipe bomb' into Parliament House, says building 'no longer secure'

Tony Abbott under fire for having only one woman in cabinet

Tony Abbott winks during radio call from phone sex worker and grandmother 'Gloria'

Senator-elect Ricky Muir can’t take time off from his saw mill job to meet Tony Abbott

Incoming Australian Motoring Enthusiast party senator criticised for celebrating his 8-year-old daughter’s ‘burnouts’

Tony Abbott rebukes Joe Hockey over ‘poor people don’t drive’ comments

Protect some disabled, says Social Services Minister Kevin Andrews

Take any job, Kevin Andrews tells young facing no dole for six months

Tony Abbott says Australia benefited from foreign investment because it was 'unsettled' before the British

‘Don’t migrate unless you want to join our team’: Abbott meets Islamic community

Attorney-General George Brandis: 'People do have a right to be bigots'

Dad who challenged school chaplains program beats the government in the high court

No more national parks as Tony Abbott pledges to support loggers as the 'ultimate conservationists'

Coal to fuel human progress for decades, Tony Abbott tells Texan business leaders

Al Gore and Clive Palmer team up on climate change

Jacqui Lambie refuses to apologise for warning of Chinese invasion

'It's the media's fault': Wang on Palmer Chinese 'bastard' comment

Nicola Roxon calls on 'bastard' Kevin Rudd to quit Parliament in John Button lecture

Labor's 2013 election loss 'self-inflicted', internal review finds

Labor party to launch own news service

Clive Palmer hits back at 'dickhead' Mike Willesee

Clive Palmer walks out of interview with Sarah Ferguson on 7.30

Clive Palmer blames Tony Abbott for falling asleep in Parliament

Evan Williams

Evan Williams is a New York-based comedy writer. He has contributed humour to The New Yorker’s Daily Shouts, McSweeney’s and SBS Viceland’s The Feed

 

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