Only Itself to Blame

I entered the Church of Scientology on a crisp winter’s afternoon. My ears, on the church’s behalf, were burning. Within the previous month the South Australian Opposition leader had resigned after a Scientology-linked scandal, prosecutors in France had relaunched a longstanding action to have the church banned, Wikipedia had halted an ‘edit war’ between Scientology and its critics, Scientology’s leader had denied accusations of being a violent psychopath, and Jodhi Meares and Peaches Geldof had reportedly joined up. Scientology was in the news. Scientology is always in the news.

The sign outside the church offered the ‘Free Personality and IQ Test’, Scientology’s traditional welcome mat. I affected the nervous curiosity of somebody I imagined would want to take such a test. But I came to learn, not to ridicule.

An hour later I left the building; I had been propelled on a path towards becoming a Scientologist, and I might even have already become one.